If ONLY then WHAT?

If only I _____________________ then _____________________________

Everyone I have worked with has a picture of something they really want.  You may be picturing a fabulous vacation, new sports car, a new house, a better marriage, a closer family, new friends, a sculpted body, a new job or an ‘A’ team to run your company tripling your profits with a quarter of the expenses.

I’m thinking, I’ll take one of each thank you.  Can I have it ALL AND NOW ?

Now I am not writing to tell you NO you can’t or YES you can.  I don’t have a special genie in my pocket that is going to make it all happen for you before you read the rest of this sentence, because if I did,  then I would just end here and sell you the genie. ;0)

OK all kidding aside, there are two major challenges people face when they decide to GO FOR ‘IT’ – that which they really want.

  1. They haven’t really thought through what ‘IT’ looks like.

As I start asking them questions about what an ‘A Team’ or a better marriage or even a new house looks like they hesitate, their eyes roll up as if they are searching for words to describe a picture they haven’t even painted yet.

Hummmm !!!!  This is probably a great clue why they don’t already have ‘IT’.  All the person knows right now is they don’t like what they have today.

Together we agree more time IN INTENTIONALLY FOCUSED THOUGHT is required to 1st ENVISION what they really want and then GO FOR ‘IT’.

There is no sense in getting in a car and driving to ANYWHERE because you end up NO WHERE you really want to be. 

  1. Once a person invests the time IN INTENTIONALLY FOCUSED THOUGHT, ENVISIONING what they really want and getting real about today, another interesting picture is rapidly painted their mind, overlaying the picture of what they really want.

It sounds something like this:

I can’t because _________________ and then if ___________________

I will have to _________________  AND if I _______________

then they will ______________ which means I will have to ______________

Wow was that fast or what?.  It took hours to create the vision of what they really want and in a flash of time with extreme detail their mind instantly created the picture of can’t.  It wasn’t that long ago the person was struggling to put detail to their vision, for what they were convinced they really wanted.  For years they had been dreaming of ‘IT’, hoping for ‘IT’, talking about ‘IT’.


A person who is a master of ‘If only I had a ______________’ transforms into a master detail technician with an imagination on fire. Rapidly painting a picture of all the reason why they can’t get from HERE to THERE.



Most of us would rather settle for where WE are, because after all, TODAY’s ‘IT’ is pretty good compared to where THEY are.

As Marshal Goldsmith masterfully wrote, what got us HERE won’t get us THERE.

Not just YOU, me too, and you and you and you!

WE ALL GET TO PAY THE PRICE OF CHANGE if WE really want change.

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances,

but are unwilling to improve themselves;

they therefore remain bound.”

James Allen


What would need to be different for you to NOT SETTLE?

What would you need to believe differently about yourself to PERSISTENTLY pursue the deepest desire you have?

What would you need to THINK differently about the price you are imagining paying?


then I CAN HAVE ‘IT’

in due time.